A True Friend

 True friendship is never easy. So many people get frustrated, as if friendship is supposed to be simple. It's not. Whenever two different people with different thoughts and backgrounds meet together and get close, there will be conflict and that's okay. In the movies, we like to pretend that friendship is just a matter of sleepovers, ballgames, and the drama over that new cute boy but it is so much more than that. Friendship is hard. It requires honesty and trust. It requires you to desire whatever is best for your friend, even if what would cause them joy makes you unhappy. You want them to win, even if it means you sometimes have to lose or even step out of the picture for a time. Like, I said friendship is hard. Friendship requires a love that is unselfish and pure and puts itself through hell so that it can reach a hand out to help you up when you are hurt. 

Friendships with the same sex is usually a bit easier than with the opposite sex but it comes with its own complications. We have different ideas and behaviors, we get crushes on the same guys, or we are so alike we get mad. The great thing about having friends of the same sex is that no matter how different you may seem, you are probably going through very similar struggles at the same time. Depression, boys, parent drama, and new life developments, these things are always easier when you can share them with someone else. Open up to your friend and let them support you. Allow them to lean on you. Pray together, sit together in mass if possible. If they aren't the same religion, just be a light. Offer a hand that is constant. They may not know Christ, but you can bring Christ to them through your love and friendship.

Of course, the hardest class of friendship is that with the other sex, especially when you are trying to avoid any romantic attachment which is why I'll spend most of my time on it. This kind of friendship is possible... I've seen it and been in some. It is also very messy at times, one or the other often can form a more romantic attraction as the two grow closer in friendship. Afterall, friendship is a learning and partnership with another person. Dating is also a learning and partnership with another person, this causes a lot of mix-ups. 

I've been on both sides of the mix-up, as the one in love and the one who is fallen in love with. Let's be honest though, this kind of love isn't marriage level love. It is a mixture of friendship love, attraction, and infatuation. Let me just say this, as the loved it is hard to both let that person down gently and maintain that friendship, but it is unfair to your friends to allow this confusion and uncertainty to remain. It may be fun to receive this kind of attraction but in the end will only hurt both of you if not dealt with honestly. It may hurt them a bit now, but it is better than the pain that will come if you drag it out. 

Now as the person who falls into this kind of attraction, it is almost more painful. You may know the person so well and this makes you almost certain if only given the chance you could prove you're the one for them or at least that you would be better for them than whichever person they are currently attracted to. Unfortunately, this is a prideful thought. You must realize that just as you choose what kind of relationship you have with those around you, so they get to choose what they believe is best for them, even if it is not you. Support them in their decisions and trust that whatever is God's plan will inevitably come to pass. Don't try to stand in the way with your own selfish or prideful motives. 

Friendship is hard. Real friendship with those of the opposite sex is nearly impossible. Yet, these things are worth striving for because once it achieved it blossoms into a love like no other and strengthens both of you in incredible ways. Godly strong friendships can move mountains. 

Thank you for reading! Please leave any questions, ideas, or comments below. Tell about a time a friend has pulled through for you or you have supported a friend through a hard time. Remember friendship goes both ways!