The Murderer of a Million Hopes
not written about depression much. So many of us struggle with this disease and it can seem debilitating at times to the point of making even getting out of bed a near impossible struggle.
In my own journey through depression, I am currently at a very challenging place. I was on depression medication for quite some time and have only recently come off of it because it was dropping my moods to an all-time low. After getting off my moods went completely crazy as my body was balancing out and it took a while to get to where I am now. At this very moment, I am at a point similar to before I went on my depression medication. I am trying to manage as best as I know how and have to keep dusting myself off after each small breakdown.
So many days, I wake up and despite all the many reasons I have to be joyful, I can't seem to find the desire inside to get out of bed. I drag myself through daily routine and paste a smile on my face for the sake of my job and my family, but everything seems dark and not worth the effort. Frankly, it is exhausting!
When my days become like this, there is only a few things you can do and that is why I am writing today. To share these things with you in the hopes that they will aid you if you are struggling. No matter what nothing will make it completely go away. I would love to say I have the genius idea that will make everything so much easier, but I don't. I am struggling. I mess up 90% of the time. The 10% of the time I get it right, I usually feel like I got it wrong. I forgot my simple ideas I am going to give you and just fall back on the old self harming techniques that can be simpler during these times. What I can tell you though is that this makes it easier to bear and I am here for you as well as so many others who are going through the same struggles you are.
Before Your Worst Days
1. Form a support group.
I put this one first because it is so important. When you are struggling with depression, it can be extremely tempting to cut off everyone around you. You don't feel you are worthy of their time or just can't find the energy to reach out. So on a day you aren't a mess, find those people to keep an eye on you. Not to reprimand and scold you, not to babysit your every decision, but simply to be there when they see you stumbling with a hand and possibly a pint of ice-cream. These people can be close friends, spiritual directors, or even family members.
2. Make a Crisis Plan
This is a plan for those days that get really bad. This list should first have about six ideas of things that help lift you a little when you are really upset. These could be as simple as organizing your desk or drinking a cup of tea, whatever they are though make sure at least three are able to be done at almost all times if necessary, so maybe leave out a trip to Florida. After that you should have a few phone numbers to call. One should be a person you can just talk to if you need to talk. This could quite easily be someone from your support group. Second, if you have a counselor or spiritual director their number should be on your Crisis Plan. Two other numbers should be on the list. (412)-540-4471 and 988 are crisis phone numbers for those with depression. They are there for anything from preventing suicides to just listening to you vent in case of an emergency. You can have as much or as little to your Crisis Plan as you need or want. It should be typed or written and then just make as many copies as you need to so that you can have one wherever you may need it.
During Your Worst Days
1. Take it one day at a time!
When you have depression just moving can be a real challenge. If you try to look too far into the future to decipher and make decisions, you can drown under your hopeless feelings. DON'T DO IT! Look at the day you are in. What needs to get done? What is the first step to getting it done? Do that small step and then look to the next step. By breaking it into little pieces, you can make your burden a heck of a lot easier to carry.
2. Just breathe.
Take a deep breath. Let it out. Take another one. Do you feel the air coming in and out of your lungs. That is you giving yourself the oxygen you need to survive. That is you making a choice to keep going. That is you controlling one tiny aspect of your life. So just breath and accept that it is enough.
3. Don't give up... EVER
When I fall into a long stretch of my depression, it can last for an entire month at times. It can seem so much easier to throw your hands up and quit. Don't. I can't insist on anything more. This is not me telling you suicide or just quitting in general is evil. This is not me saying it'll get easier. This is me saying you are strong enough to make it and depression is just another obstacle in your life that will form you into an even more awesome human being.
I honestly am having a rough depression day right now so I don't have much to add but I wanted to reach out to you all and let you know that I am working through it and I know you can to. This is a journey. A journey has a beginning, a middle, and most certainly an end. Just keep on going and I know you will make it. As always thanks for reading and feel free to leave any comments and questions below.
Resources
1. Guided Self-Management Tools for Teens ages 13-17
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