Begin Again

 So, I met someone. 

To be honest I've known him for a while. We grew up together in the same community, but he was my brother's friend, and I was oblivious to him. Until recently. 

He started messaging me and we reminisced on our past family involvement and on all the fun we had as kids. Yesterday we met up at church and talked for an hour and a half before he walked me to my car and talked with me for another thirty minutes... Now I don't know what to do.

What is it about us that makes us so ready to give our hearts away so soon after being injured? Is it the thought of being truly valued or the small smiles we see out of the corner of our eyes when a boy who likes us glances our way? Whatever it is, sometimes, if you're like me, it can be really hard to try again. To put your heart on the line over and over again, and watch it be crumpled and thrown back at you. 

As humans, we long for relationships and, as females, we long to be loved and desired. When we are rejected, we are deeply wounded and usually either completely withdraw or throw ourselves at guy after guy as we search for validation. It's alright to take that chance though... it's okay to risk it all once again. As long as you base your budding relationship off of Christ, even if it ends in hurt you will learn from the experience. Once the time is right, in my opinion as you enter into adulthood, it is alright to allow yourself to take these chances. Form those strong friendships and then see where they lead. Be the friend that is always there for him and if it turns into more, yippee! If it doesn't be the kind of friend who just wants what's best for him, even if it hurts for a time. When a guy says he isn't interested, he isn't rejecting you. He is acknowledging your worth and strengths and recognizing that they just don't match with his. That's okay. Somewhere there is someone who is just right and will make this guy pale in comparison. 

I thought about this as I was listening to Begin Again by Taylor Swift (I know so cliche (-:) after he walked me to my car. I want a guy who values me and so far, this friend shows respect for me and even love for my oddities. Whether it will work out or not, I don't know. What I do know is I am going to put my heart on the line. I won't be doing the pursuing but if he feels the desire to be with me, I'll see where it goes. When he smiles and laughs at the way I act, I will allow myself to enjoy his company. If it falls apart, I will be a friend still by his side laughing along with the story of his life and the tale of my own. I still am getting over my hurt from my past relationships, but I will find my healing in the Lord and let Him guide my steps. 

Thanks for reading and please let me hear from you!