The Tears That Fall

 So, originally I was going to put all my poetry in one place but after reading them I didn't want to make y'all sad so I separated them out for those who wanted to read them. These are from some of my toughest days.

Poem 1: The Voices

The voices are quiet,

The screaming is done.

My life is a tapestry,

They have finally spun.

My words are the images,

Woven too bright.

My thoughts all fade,

Banished to night.

 

I miss my voices.

The things I could feel;

For when all was lost,

They told me I was real.

Now what is reality,

And what is the fake?

Is it the fairytale,

Or what keeps me awake?

Is it the nightmare,

And my own desperate pleas?

Is it the music,

That drives me to my knees?

Am I the cursed,

Or the blessed in dark?

Why does my life,

Seem to lose its bright spark?

 

Come back to me voices!

Drive me insane!

Tell me reality is nothing but pain.

Banish the daydream that makes me forget,

That suffering and tears is all that I get.

I need to remember;

The truth must appear.

Till finally the instant…

When I disappear.

Poem 2: Today

(Remember NO BEING SAD)

Leaning ‘gainst the bathroom door,

Wondering what I’m fighting for.

Tears pouring down my face,

Hoping for just one safe place.

Screaming silently all alone

Lost in a place they call my home.

While striving to do all they plea,

I disappoint all in front of me.

No matter the hours that I try,

My life is wasted till I die.

A waste of space and nothing more,

Onto the floor, my tears I pour.

(Okay… maybe a little sad… rereading this is making me sad. That was one of the toughest days of my life but remember things always get better)

Poem 3: Suicide

(THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME!!!! So don’t freak out… it’s actually about someone from a song I heard… it reminded me of all the girls that suffer so much worse than I do and the way people tend to assume that the terrible things of this world could never happen to them so they do nothing about them)

In the silence, in the rain,

In the night, a cry of pain.

One man hears it, but turns away.

One girl winces, “No, not today.”

A boy takes notice, but forgets the sound.

A mother hears, but there are children around.

 

The sufferer stares out to the stormy sea,

“There is no one left here for me.”

She debates a dive to death,

Finally, she sighs taking last breathe.

“No, I guess there’s no one to miss.”

She takes her step into the abyss.

Poem 4: Home

I wake up with pains that drive away sleep;

My mind is tormented by terrors to deep.

I scream as I smile to everyone’s gaze;

I hear not a word nor whisper of praise.

I only remained for the people I called dear,

Yet the reality is this life is a fear.

 

I thought I could go.

I thought I was free,

But here I remain;

Forced to be me.

 

Death would be comforting,

A mercy and more.

But still I remain with only pain in store.

What kind of life is this?

Who would dare;

To send me this misery,

In Answer to prayer?

 

I’m crumbling, dying,

And still yet denying.

They say I’ve ruined things and caused a whole mess;

Yet I just wished to escape all the stress.

I wanted one thing and one thing alone,

And yet here I remain,

In this lie, they call home. 

Poem 5: Fading

(This one was written while I was really sick Christmas Day and couldn’t really move or consume anything.)

Missing life,

Missing strife.

Lying in this bed,

Pictures on the wall.

Unable to lift my head,

Or answer the voices that call.

My limbs are not my own,

The destroying pain has grown.

The voices crowd and smile,

All I want is silence for a while.

No way to feel comfortable,

An animal, my mind does rule.

Every breath pierces my lungs,

Every drop of liquid, my body has wrung.

Not a crumb or drop passes my lips,

My life, death slowly sips.

Fading completely away,

My life refuses to stay.

Won’t give up now,

Still don’t know how

To survive the night

With just the words I write. 

Poem 6: Final Relief

I’m friends with the monsters inside of my head,

But what if the voices turn on me instead.

As my mind collapse with fear,

I pray to God that my end is near.

My smile fades from off my face,

My final fall from public grace.

I sight with relief as they share all my lies,

For finally they will hear my silent cries.

I sing quietly into death

And smile as I breathe my final breathe  

Poem 7: The Forgotten

Tears at night,

Till morning light.

A child’s prayer,

But no one’s there.

She flees in fright,

Hiding from night.

They say, “Don’t fear.”

“The end is near.”

Still, she knows

That all her woes,

Have been forgot.

Her weary lot,

All alone,

A silent moan.

In a world of lies,

A child cries. 

If you are ever feeling depressed or suicidal, you need to speak out. Find counseling. Talk to your parents. Your feelings are important and they matter. I am always available to talk if you need it as well. I have gone through depression as well as suicidal thoughts and they are not healthy and you need to reach out to those around you for support. 

Once again, I love you all and am here for you. Please feel free to leave comments!